Why can`t I go back in time?

Ok so I liked this guy since 1st class.And finally.When I was in 5th I made totally new friends.Like older friends.And there were mostly boys..But I only liked that 1 guy.I was like obsessed with him.I tried to do everything just to get his attention.And finally when I started hanging out with him,he invited me n his friend to his house.It was really funny n we played games on ps3 n he teached me how to play.He put his hands on my hands which were on the pad.And finally one day my best friend told me he likes me.He was tickling me and was so nice.And then at 11 p.m. he came to me when i was on my balcony and told me he really likes me and asked me to be his gf.(I actually am NOT kidding!!He really did!!) And I said 'yes' of course.So since then.We couldn`t live without eachother.He kept on telling me that i can`t go to Cork because he`ll die if i won`t be with him.And then every night we were talkin on the phone.He always told me he loves me n I always said 'back at you.'I know it was dumb You don`t have to tell me.And then we went on a walk and he told me he really loves me.I couldn`t believe it!It was like a dream come true to me!!We went to school together he walked me home and then 1 day he came 2 my house on his own(cause most of the times my beshtoo was with us) and we kissed.I didn`t know what was happening.But i was happy.I really did love him.Like REALLY.But 1 day his friend came up to me and told me that he cheated on me n i was so stupid I actually believed that cunt.I broke up with him.But we were still friends and all.And then 1 day his cousin Vicky wrote to me that he is going to ask me out again in 2 weeks.I told him that i know about that and he said its true.But after a week of time we weree just hanging out and he came up to me and said 'Grace,I love you.You`re the only person i will ever truly love.I can`t stand 1 more week waiting to ask you out.Will you please be my gf?'That was soo cute!!It was like he just realised how much i ment to him.But I was stupid.I spent more time with his friends than with him and he was telling me he`s jealous but i kept on telling him he doesn`t have what to be jealous of.Then 1 of the guys told me they love me.But i loved my bf more than anyone else i the world.I didn`t really act like a real gf.I bearly hugged him or held hands with him and all that.But the other day his friend (the same 1) told him I cheated on him with HIMSELF!!And I would never do that!!I loved him so much!!I didn`t know what to do!!I was soo angry.Before I could tell him it`s not true he broke up with me.I didn`t have any reason to live anymore.Till today I still keep thinking that all this was my fault.I wish i could just go back in time....'fate gave me a chance,i wasted it,now i don`t have you,But i want you to know,I always loved you,I do and I always will no matter what.'